How to Increase Confidence by Replacing Criticism with Encouragement

The Power of Your Inner Voice

Welcome to How to Increase Confidence

               Have you ever considered that the most influential person in your life might be you? The voice inside

your head — the one you hear when no one else is around — plays a defining role in how you feel, act, and

relate to others. When that inner voice is harsh, doubting, and critical, confidence shrinks. But when it’s kind,

encouraging, and steady, confidence grows. Today, let’s explore how to increase confidence by shifting your

self-talk from criticism to encouragement — because the words you say to yourself become your inner truth.


How Self-Talk Shapes Your Confidence

             Your self-talk is the ongoing commentary you give yourself — conscious or unconscious.  Research

shows that self-talk matters: negative self-talk undermines self-concept and self-confidence, while positive

self-talk supports them.

              For example, telling yourself “I’m going to mess up” sets the stage for insecurity. On the flip side, “I’m

learning and growing” invites resilience. Science indicates that our internal words influence not only feelings

but brain activity — how we process emotions, respond to stress, and build beliefs about ourselves.   And

understanding this is a foundational step in learning how to increase confidence from within.

Recognising Your Inner Critic

                     Before you can replace criticism with encouragement, you need to recognize the critic.                        

Ask yourself:

🤔 What phrases do I catch myself saying regularly (“I always fail”, “I’m not good enough”)?

🤔When do these thoughts appear — after a mistake? In comparison with someone else?

🤔How do they affect my behavior — do I hold back, stay silent, avoid trying?

                  Negative self-talk often hides under perfectionism, fear of failure, or habitual comparison. Once 

you’ve identified your inner critic’s patterns, you’re in position to challenge and redirect them 

toward a voice that nurtures growth.

🌟 Quick Confidence Boost Tips

  • Pause & Notice: Catch critical thoughts before they take over. 🤔
  • Challenge Them: Ask yourself, “Is this thought kind? True? Helpful?” 💡
  • Reframe: Turn self-criticism into encouraging, realistic self-talk. 🌱
  • Repeat Daily: Consistency builds lasting confidence. ✨
  • Track Your Wins: Write down small achievements—they add up! 📝

💌 Need more guidance? Subscribe to our weekly email series for gentle insights and practical steps to grow confidence and self-compassion.

Woman smiling and pointing up

The Shift: From Criticism to Encouragement

          Changing your inner dialogue isn’t about ignoring real challenges or pretending everything’s 

perfect. It’s about becoming your own encouraging coach. Here are steps to make that shift:

  1. Catch & Pause – When a critical thought arises, pause. Hear it.
  2. Challenge – Ask: “Is this thought kind? Is it true? Is it helpful?”
  3. Reframe – Replace it with a kinder, more realistic phrase:

😣  Critic: “I’ll never get this right.”

✅   Encourager: “I’m learning this. Each step brings progress.”

  1. Repeat – Encouraging phrases gain power when repeated and internalised. Positive self-talk builds self-confidence over time.

You might create a chart: what you often say → what you’ll say instead. The repeated act of 

substitution rewires your inner narrative and is one of the most effective ways to practice how to 

increase confidence daily.

        ✨ And if you find it hard to reframe your thoughts from critic to encourager, that’s okay. Sometimes

deep-rooted experiences or old beliefs can make this shift challenging — awareness is the first step

toward change.

          🌟 Sometimes, having someone to guide you can make all the difference in uncovering and 

resolving the deep-rooted experiences or beliefs that stand in the way of change.

           🤝 I’ve learned how powerful it can be to work through deep-rooted experiences and limiting 

beliefs — and I’d love to share what’s helped me.

            📝  I share more of what helped me in my email series, where I offer gentle insights and 

practical steps for building confidence and self-compassion. 

             💌   I encourage you to subscribe to the weekly newsletter on the home page to continue

this journey with me.


Have you read Posts #1 to #8? 📚

If not, I encourage you to start with the Introduction Post to the Confidence Corner Series 

(Posts #1–10) ✨ and begin your journey to building confidence. 🌱

Practising Kind Self-Talk Daily

Building a confident inner voice is a daily practice. Here are some actionable tips:

                ✅ Morning affirmation: Start each day with an encouraging phrase: “I am capable of 

good work today,” or “I treat myself with respect.

                 ✅ Silent reframe: When you notice criticism (“That was dumb”), internally shift to “That 

was a good try; next time I’ll adjust.

                 ✅ Self-kindness journal: At the end of each day, write 1–3 things you did well or a kind thing you

said to yourself.

                 ✅ Name-based self-talk: Talking to yourself using your own name or second-person (“You’ve got this,

Amber”) creates healthy distance and improves focus.

                 ✅ Anchor to action: When you act, speak (silently or aloud) words of encouragement. 

Link kind words to real moments.

            Over time, these practices help your mind default to encouragement instead of criticism, nurturing

genuine confidence. And if you’ve ever wondered how to increase confidence naturally — this is it: one

compassionate thought at a time.


 How Kind Words Build Genuine Confidence

              So, how does encouraging self-talk translate into real confidence? Here’s what happens:

💪You trust yourself more. When your inner voice says “I’ve got this,” you’re more likely 

to step forward.

🌱 You bounce back from setbacks. Encouragement helps you see mistakes as part of 

growth, not proof of failure.

🧘‍♀️You stay grounded under pressure. Kind self-talk calms the nervous system, reducing 

fear and anxiety.

🌟 You build habits of competence. Confidence isn’t about ego — it’s about self-trust. As you speak kindly to yourself and show up for yourself, your self-trust grows.

                  Confidence is not the absence of doubt; it’s the presence of compassion that helps you move 

forward anyway.

Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Love 💛

    The words you say to yourself matter deeply. They shape your inner truth. So treat 

yourself as you’d treat someone you love — with understanding, patience, and kindness. 🌿✨

           Start now. Replace “I’m not enough” with “I’m growing.” 🌱 Replace “I’ll never succeed” 

with “I’m capable of progress.” 💪 Speak kindly to yourself not because you’ve earned it — but 

because you deserve it. 💛

             Your inner voice has the power to limit you or to lift you. Choose to lift yourself. ☀️ Let 

your encouragement become your inner truth, and let your confidence follow. 🌟

How to Increase Confidence ✨

Take action to speak kindly to yourself 💛

          Take five minutes today ⏱️ to write down three common self-critical thoughts. ✍️ Then, beside each

one, write an encouraging alternative. 🌱 Post that list where you’ll see it every day — your mirror 🪞,

journal 📓, or phone background 📱. Each time a critical thought appears, replace it with the new phrase. 🔄

You’ll soon discover that the more you speak kindly to yourself 💬, the easier it becomes to believe in

yourself 🌟 — and that’s how you increase lasting confidence. 💪

✨ You Did It! ✨

   You’ve just finished reading Post #9 in the Confidence Corner series — what an 

achievement!  🎉 Each step you take brings you closer to a stronger, more confident you. 

Remember, growth happens when you keep showing up for yourself, and you’re doing exactly 

that. 🌱

           There’s one more post to go on your journey through the Confidence Corner. Stay 

inspired, stay committed — yes, you can! 💪 You are almost at the finish line.

              👉 Continue to Post #10 and keep building the confidence you deserve. Once you 

read Post #10, you will have completed the entire Confidence Corner series! 🌟

Celebrating at the top of mountain